Do you ever look at your life and think “if I only knew then what I know now…”? I’m sure I can’t be the only one. I think to some degree we all sort of “Monday Morning Quarterback” our lives…but then again, life lessons give you wisdom and you can’t gain wisdom without those life lessons. Some days I resolve to the line of thinking that without my life’s trials and tribulations I wouldn’t be the woman that I am today and, honestly, I rather like who I am today. Thinking about life last night I wanted to share a few points that I have learned over the years:
1. Don’t be so ashamed of your past that you can’t talk about it. We ALL have a past and sometimes it’s rather embarrassing. It took me a long time before I would acknowledge that my family was poor enough that we were technically homeless when I started high school. In fact, my whole young life was in poverty and much of the stereotypical crap that went with it. Then, one day, I shared my story with a little girl that I was a “Big” for through Big Brothers Big Sisters and for the first time in my life I felt I connected and like I inspired someone else through my story. I’ve been sharing my story ever since. As embarrassing as a story might be, you never know who needs to hear your words so they can feel that they aren’t alone or may be otherwise inspired.
2. People will disappoint you…forgive them anyway. The saying goes “the key to failure is trying to please 100% of the people 100% of the time.” It took me a while to really understand this but it’s so true. If you think about this you will realize that even you will disappoint someone at some point in your life, probably more times than you think, and it becomes a lot easier to forgive those who may not always live up to your expectations. Forgive as you would want to be forgiven.
3. Your past does not have to be your future. By all statistics, given my upbringing, I should have turned out to be a high school drop out, substance abuser, pregnant early and/or landed myself in jail before I was even 21. NONE OF THAT HAPPENED. I am living proof that no matter what obstacles you face, you are in charge of your future. Even if you happened to fall into some trouble as I listed above…it is never too late to change your life for the better. You are not your past. You do not have to end up just another statistic. The power is all yours.
4. Know your worth. The saying goes “if they don’t know how valuable you are then they don’t deserve you.” That is sooo true. Everyone was given strengths and talents and if others fail to see your abilities to shine, well, you need to find someone who does. This goes with personal relationships and work. This is not to say that you don’t have to do some self evaluation and keep yourself in check…there is a lot to be said for those who have humility and ability to be humble. You can’t lie to yourself and not take blame where blame is due…but still…when you feel you are in check and people are trying to abuse your amazingness and crushes your spirit…move on.
5. It’s okay to say “No.” I know, it can be hard. If you are anything like me, very hard. You want to please people and be helpful. You hate seeing others struggle. I get it. Boy do I get it! And the saying goes “if you want something done give it to a busy person.” Yeah, story of my life! But the word “No” can sometimes make the difference between spreading yourself too thin and suffering mentally and physically and having some sanity and your health. Choose sanity and your health. Remember to check in with yourself sometimes and be honest with yourself about where you are. If you are feeling really overwhelmed if may be a good time to say “no” until you can get caught up and regroup.
There are so many gems of wisdom that we all hold. What are some of yours?
~ Memoirs of a Strong Woman ~ 